The Jean Quilt Saga

(On a two hour delay from work this morning.  Yay!  I don't have to chug my coffee like it's last call!)

So several years back, I learned how to make jean quilts.  It's not all that tricky, it's like regular quilting except in squares and strips without any fancy shapes or fabrics or colors and jean quilts are hand tied, not machine quilted.  (Well I suppose you could machine quilt but I don't.  It can be a lot of stress on the sewing machine.)  The thing with starting a thing is that all of a sudden, it's your thing.  People heard I've made jean quilts and they started giving me their old jeans.  Um...

Don't get me wrong, I like jean quilts for various reasons.  First the majority of the fabric is kinda free (old jeans), it follows Recycle, Reuse, Reduce, and jeans quilts are cozy and warm.  But all of a sudden, I had tons of jeans, no time to make quilts and kinda no place to store the jeans.  When we moved into the townhouse, the laundry baskets of jeans ended up in the upstairs hall.  I hate clutter and things not having a place and all these jeans were cluttery and not in a place.  Annoyed the crap out of me for oh, 10 months.  (Procrastination, thou art a bitch.)

Anyway with all the various snow days and holidays and just being stuck in the house more often, I decided to tackle the jeans.  Here are the steps:

Tear all the jeans into usable pieces.
Puzzle piece and place in rows.
Pin and sew all the pieces in a row together.
Sew the rows together.
Iron seams flat.
Trim edges to make straight.
Sew together the backing fabric (fabric isn't sold wide enough so requires sewing two pieces together).
Use basting spray and pins to hold the jeans and backing fabric together.
Hand tie the two layers.
Baste stitch the edges.
Trim the excess backing fabric.
Machine sew one side of the bias tape binding to the quilt edge.
Hand stitch the other side of the bias tape binding to the quilt edge.
Voila!  Jean quilt!

Honestly for me the longest part is tearing all the damn blasted jeans apart into usable pieces.  Did you catch where I said laundry baskets of jeans?  And there were also 2 black trash bags full.  We had A LOT of jeans.  I almost had enough to make 5 jeans quilts.  Well I am making 5 jean quilts anyway and I would have had enough except I decided to make the boys' quilts one row longer than the girls and I'm short ONE pair of jeans.  I think I have an old pair I can sacrifice, I just haven't gone digging in my closet yet.

Anyway here's where I am currently:

Jean Quilt #1 & #2: need to machine sew and hand stitch bias tape on and DONE.
Jean Quilt #3: need to trim jean edges, sew backing fabric pieces together, and so on
Jean Quilt #4: needs one pair of jeans to sew on to finish last row, otherwise it's to "iron seams flat" stage
Jean Quilt #5: ran out of heavy duty jean thread, in the middle of "sew all the pieces in a row together"

(I guess technically I'm out of thread for Jean Quilt #4 as well.)

(Also I don't have the backing fabric for Jean Quilts #4 or #5 yet.)

At least the project is well under way.  I'm actually quite good at finishing projects once started, it's the starting that holds me up for quite awhile.  I hope to be finished by mid-February.  And then, done done done done done.  I kinda never want to make another jean quilt in my life.

tl;dr  I had a lot of old jeans, I'm making quilts out of them.  Also?  No more jean donations ever!

Linky Love

Foundation to Decrease World Suck   One of my new favorite charities, with a name like that, you can't go wrong.

Kiva.org  Micro-loans to help small businesses across the world.  On my To Do list to help fund some loans after my next paycheck.

John and Hank, Nerdfighter videos  Founders of the above mentioned Foundation to Decrease World Suck.  Hilarious vloggers with a great message.  Also, John lives in Indiana at the moment and writes awesome young adult books.  Win, win, win.

Money for Gen X

My poor little generation is so ignored...

Anyways doing some online research (yay, Google!) and found some good links to keep around.

Financial Planning for Generation X and Generation Y

Why Gen X is in trouble and what they can do about it

My Gen X financial advice to my kids

My outlook on it at the moment?  I have my Roth IRA started, I have the beginnings of my emergency fund in a .85% interest earning online savings account (it should be up to the goal amount in a few months), and yeah where do I go from here?  My kids are almost too old to really benefit from a 529 college savings account at this point but I still might consider opening those.  Or go with my current plan of we'll just muddle through their college expenses the best we can with scholarships, grants, loans, and savings.

Interest rates on savings accounts, treasury notes, bonds, and CD's suck at the moment.  I need to read more and determine my long term financial goals before I start jumping into the stock market. And I hate nickel and dime fees for someone else investing my money.  (Apparently I'm not alone, see above articles, it's a Gen X thing)   I'd like to buy a second vehicle (in cash, I'm saving now) soon so I don't want to tie up that money in something long term but it seems stupid to have over $5000 sitting around earning nothing while I determine what I want to buy.  But I figure I have a few months to learn about short term investment options while I'm earning the money I plan to save and invest.

You know, I might actually get the hang on this money thing after all...

Rough Week

I'm not going to sugar coat it, it was a rough week here.

We're all adjusting to me being out of the house for over 50 hours a week (including commute time).  I think I've been doing a pretty damn good job of making sure there's food for snack and dinner and making sure everyone gets rides to and from activities and we've been relatively successful.  We did momentarily misplace the littlest one when she was suppose to be at the dentist on Tuesday (she went to her after school music program, G and I both forgot about that.)

I've been aware of time constraints before but this week, they just sucked.  For example, the boys both need new shoes.  Monday they had scouts, Tuesday I don't even remember what happened but shoe shopping didn't, Wednesday I work late (shops closed), Thursday I was off work in time to pick up the littlest one from school, eat dinner, go to her scout meeting, and then again shops closed, and Friday the boys were off to scout camp before I was home from work.  It's like, fuck how does anything get done?  I suppose I probably had 9pm to 10pm to take them to Target or something but sheesh, at that point of the night I'm honestly in bed.  Oh I remember why I didn't take them shoe shopping on Monday or Tuesday, I had $4.75 in my bank account.  Payday was Friday.  So maybe the shoe shopping was delayed due to money constraints more than anything.

I slept 13 hours Friday night into Saturday morning.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I need to make time to see a therapist after my new health insurance kicks in.  My most lovely friends have pointed out that I really have not dealt with my break-up with S (there was an incident earlier this week, I had a mini panic attack when one of our mutual friends mentioned seeing him in person)  and I'm probably in the denial stage about my dad's death too.  Sounds about right for me.  Another friend pointed out that I've dealt with a lot more emotionally stressful stuff in the last year than most people deal with in a lifetime.  Huh.  Yeah maybe.  I don't really think about it like that, I just write a To Do List and get back to checking things off.  Since there isn't an easy To List for dealing with emotions, I just ignore them and concentrate on other stuff.  Damnit, To Do Lists, don't fail me now!

Anyway, it's been a rough week.

I took yesterday "off" from doing anything other than talking to friends, eating, watching TV, and goofing around on the internet.  Today I have a To Do List but I'm going to take it slow and not try to attempt to knock 10 things off it before lunch.  The kids don't go back to G's until tomorrow evening (November schedule is a bit goofy) and now that I've realized I'm not 100% emotionally healthy right at the moment, I'm going to take it easy on myself.  No one needs me ending up in a padded room.

I love my kids, I love my family, I love my cat, I love my friends, I love my new job, I love my cute little townhouse in a fun area of town.  Overall life is good, I just need to fine tune a few (major? minor?) emotional things.  I can do this.

Spin cycle

I'm trying to find my center again.  This last week has been...  I don't even have the words for it.

The viewing and the funeral were tough.  I did a lot of crying.  I gave the eulogy at Mass because it felt like something I needed to do.  I miss my dad.

I'm very thankful I have my new job.  I worked Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and it felt good to be finally doing what I've spent the last 4 years working towards.

I drove down to my hometown Friday after work and spent the night with my mom.  She's doing amazing.  It'll be a process for her but seeing her in person doing pretty well with everything helped me feel that she can do it.  I'm not a worrier but I was worried A LOT about her this last week.

Yesterday was a bit of an anomaly as I went to Churchill Downs with some of my extended family and ate lunch in Millionaire's Row and bet on some horses.  My aunt buys tickets to this event every year and she asked me many months ago if I could attend.  (KY Colonels)  It was fun and amazing and a nice break away from everything.  I even won $3.50 on my first horse race bet ever.

Today...  Today I feel like I just got spit out of the spin cycle.  I've been up since 7am and kinda overwhelmed by getting everything back in order again.  The plants need watering, the half & half for my coffee went bad, the laundry has piled up, I have a stack of new job paperwork that needs sorted, and I've gained like 4lbs since I last stepped on the scale (and since I was already 5lbs heavier the last time I checked, I'm so not happy about this, my clothes are starting not to fit at all).  Oh and I think that NaNoWriMo is a bust again this year.  I'm trying to take everything slow and easy to not overwhelm myself but I also know I need to get my butt in gear and tackle everything sooner than later as I have a full week of work ahead of me and the kids are back at my house tomorrow night.

Deep breaths.  Take it slow.  It took time to get to this place, it'll take time to get back to my normal.  I can do this.

Loose Ends

sub titled: I don't wanna....

I'm having one of those 'why can't I knit, drink coffee, and watch Netflix all day' days?

Instead I need to go to the store because we're out of laundry detergent and more importantly, clean towels.  I need to go to the post office to mail some stuff but one of the things that I need to mail requires more printed papers which means I need to make a phone call to resent a password and stop by bank to pick up a replacement key fob thing (my business banking has this stupid key fob with a number code used to login online and mine's been missing since the move.  Yes, February.)  I need to send out a long ass Girl Scout email about fall product sale, upcoming PJ Party, visit to local nature center, and reminders to all the girls to be prepared to present their part in badges.  Plus I'm scheduled at the sewing gig today.

Store, laundry, post office, phone call, bank, email, sewing gig.

Pretty typical stuff.  I just don't wanna do any of it today.

Feeling Good Part #3

So considering all the craziness of the last few months, I find myself in pretty good spirits lately.  I've been taking some steps to fix the things I can and accept those I can't.  (Go Serenity Pray!  And Dr. Phil)

Fixing:

Full-Time Nursing Job: Applying, talking to my contacts, picking up as many hours as possible at both the volunteer clinic and as a school nurse substitute.  The sewing gig is enough (barely) but I still don't have benefits (health insurance, life insurance, 401K).  I might be able to get some minimal coverage elsewhere.  It's on the To Do List.

Crappy Shoe-String Budget: Not going to go into all the details but I've contacted people to work on my debt.  The relief from the strain of those monthly bills is amazing.

Accepting:

Teenagers: Currently have 3 and 2 pre-teens.  It's going to be a long and bumpy ride...  Just gotta buckle up, white knuckle it and get through to the other side.

Crappy Shoe-String Budget: Needs versus Wants.  I have a list.  And a plan.  And sticking to it.

Dating:  Not doing it right now.  I'm good with being single at the moment  (I reserve the right to change this mindset in the future)  It's taken some time but I'm finally cool with just being with me.  Plus I have so many amazing friends and family here that any time I really want to do something, I have a great bunch of people to contact.

Townhouse:  It's good enough, it's smart enough, and doggone it, we like it.  I do have to fight an internal feeling of "it's not a house, it's only 1450 square feet, it's not a house!"  It is a little cramped with 6 people sometimes but the other half of the month, when it's just me and the cat, it's perfect.  The location is amazing and I have a gym and a garden.  I love it until the kids want friends over or I have to find an alternative location for my Girl Scout Troop meetings.  I miss having a guest room and I miss entertaining.  The accepting is especially tricky when our current town is known for it's 4000+ square foot McMansions and we're living in 1450 square foot townhouse.  We're kinda the odd family out at the moment.  Like I said, I'm working on the acceptance part.

Quote of the Day:  "Don't look for your dreams to come true; look to become true to your dreams." -Michael Beckwith

"Do Nothing" Day

All I have scheduled today is a Girl Scout Leader meeting this evening.  No work, the house is pretty clean, I don't have any errands to run, kids are at G's...

I have a few writing ideas bouncing around in my head, something along the lines of 'things I've learned' or 'stuff I still need to work on' or 'where the hell do I go from here'.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who analyzes and over thinks life.  I see so many people just going about their day as if they don't have a constant inner monologue questioning and wondering and pondering everything. But on the flip side, I've made some spectacular life changing decisions without even really thinking about them at all. Then as I deal with the fall out from those 'no thought actions' (moments, months, years later), I look back and ask "what the fuck was I thinking?"  And the answer, I'm sad to say more often than not, is I wasn't thinking.  One of my biggest lessons I've learned over the years is 'not making decision is still making a decision.'  I try to avoid making that particular mistake nowadays.  But no worries, there are a lot more mistakes that I continue to make over and over again (see 'my shoe string budget').

So of all the ideas and possibilities bouncing around in my head (which I'm sure I'll share with you eventually), I want to start writing again.  I've been reading a lot of varied books lately, mostly because I'm broke and just borrow and download whatever is available from the local library onto my Kindle.  It's kinda like blindly grabbing a couple of books off the shelf except I can do it at 2am without leaving my sofa.  And no late fees when I forget to return them.*

Two books that I recently blindly grabbed and then really enjoyed reading are The Best American Travel Writing 2011 and Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert (you probably know her from Eat, Pray, Love)

And now I've been inspired to write again.

NaNoWriMo is coming up in November so that's definitely on the To Do List now. Until then, I'm going to work on getting my ducks in a row (job, shoe string budget, life goals, you know the little stuff...) and start making time to write again.

Although honest to God, even after all the tears and frustrating lonely nights, I'd still rather have a certain sexy older man with a Boston accent distracting me from writing.

Quote of the Day: "Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." ~Thomas à Kempis

* I lovingly blame my mom for this.  She always returned my library books for me since she was the town librarian.  'Returning library books' has therefore never been part of my 'borrowing library books' experience.  I currently owe my local library $8.41

5 years

It's been a rough week.

Hell, it's been a rough few months.

My birthday is coming up at the end of this month and while I'm not turning a fantastic milestone age like 40 or 50 (I'll be 36), I realized I had hit another milestone a couple of months ago. I didn't have much time to think about it then because I was in the middle of prepping for the NCLEX and trying to find a job (and paying bills and dealing with kids on summer vacation and writing run-on sentences...)

I've lived here in Indiana again for 5 years.

Granted I've moved twice since the original move to this city but 5 years. A lot has happened in 5 years (in no particular order):

• Got divorced
  
• Applied, was accepted, and went to 4 years of nursing school
  
• Passed the NCLEX and became a registered nurse
  
• Learned to tango
  
• Shot a handgun (at a target, not a person. Although I've been tempted)
  
• Learned to ride a motorcycle and earned the motorcycle endorsement on my license
  
• Ran a 5K
  
• Painted 2 paintings
  
• Took a hot air balloon ride
  
• Worked 6 different jobs (Katie Fleck Designs, Flower Shop #2, Student Nurse, Nanny Gig, Sewing Gig, Substitute School Nurse)
  
• Traveled to Hong Kong and Beijing
  
• Went on a cruise to the Caribbean
  
• Learned to ice skate
  
• Had the gas and electric turned off (bills... I suck at paying them)
  
• Adopted my cat and readopted her when she ended up at the Humane Society
  
• Sewn curtains (inside joke, for years I've said I've sewn everything under the sun but 'never curtains')
  
• Had kidney stones
  
• Traveled inside the US to Chapel Hill NC, Outer Banks NC, Put-In-Bay OH, Chicago IL, Louisville KY, Colorado Springs CO, Savannah GA, Orlando FL (Disney World), Philadelphia PA, Cherry Hill NJ, Venice FL
  

As well as:

• knit a bunch of stuff
  
• sewn a bunch of stuff
  
• read a bunch of books
  
• been to several music concerts
  
• been camping a few times
  
• eaten a lot of yummy food
  
• and hung out with the very best people on the planet (my family and friends)

It may seem silly but writing out this list helps. I've been stuck in a "can't do anything" mood because of the lack of a RN job and the money that comes with that. And since the break-up with S, I've been very "and I'm not going to be doing that now" *sad face* too.

I've been a bucket of joy to be around honestly...

I'm going to try better to keep a positive attitude. The job will come. I'll likely fall in love again eventually. I won't be living on a shoe string budget forever. The gas won't be shut off because I don't even have gas at my current home. *shrugs* It's the little things sometimes.

The one big thing I'm looking forward to:

I'm going to be an aunt.

And that's more than enough to be super duper excited about right now. :)

August 11th

I haven't been much in a writing mood. I've been in a 'wait and see' mode for the last few weeks. It's not been very pleasant actually.

The sewing gig is going well. It doesn't pay enough and I can't get more than 18 hours a week (I've tried and next week I'm actually only scheduled for 12). I suppose it's better than nothing. I had an interview for the MOST PERFECT RN JOB EVER* about 2 weeks ago and then I haven't received a phone call back. I did call and leave a message about a week after saying that I'd love to have the position and please call back and let me know the status. Nothing. I have another upcoming interview for an assisted living/long term care facility (the new fancy word for 'nursing home'). I don't know much about that job other than where it's located and it's a RN position. I also applied to about 10 other new job listings on Thursday and Friday.

The kids start back to school in a few days. We're buying school supplies today. And doing laundry. And waiting.


* Local (less than 2 miles away), 8am-5pm Monday-Friday, new doctor's office opening in September with a very laid back, patient centered 'peace, love, and medicine' approach. So perfect...

"To Do List, in progress"

I survived 3 days of outdoor Girl Scout camp (2 nights in tents) with 90+ degree weather with 9 ten year olds (and 3 absolutely lovely Girl Scout moms). Whew, I'm glad that's over with!

I feel like I'm kinda back at square one now. No college classes in the fall, no big trips planned, no nursing job on the horizon. I've been struggling with finding a purpose for several weeks now. As cheesy as it sounds, I need to check things off a To Do List and I need to be working towards something.

So far I have "self defense class" and "solo trip to Redwood National Forest" on my "To Do List, in progress". It's something at least.

Slow...

It's been kind of a slow 'Katie' week.

Sure I did a bunch of stuff with Shaun over the weekend but it was his suggested stuff. I'm definitely not complaining and I would have suggested 'Katie' stuff if I had any stuff to do. I just don't. I'm so caught up on the To Do list of my life that I'm kinda out of stuff.* The last 3 things on the random 'Do Someday To Do List' are organize recipes, make jean quilts (which are for the twins and they are going to help me with them), and sewing a thing for my dad. Damn. I don't think I've ever been this caught up with my life before. It's a very bizarre feeling. And slightly unsettling.


*(Granted I could come up with A LOT of things To Do but they all cost money and I'm still operating under the 'can't spend any money on anything besides food, gas, and bills' budget. It kinda sucks.)

Another day, another 'not earning any dollars because I don't have a job yet'

Today:

Did 7 mock interviews with a friend's paralegal students. What do I know about interviewing? Next to nothing. Paralegal careers? Again, next to nothing. It was fun though!

Bought a new purse on clearance for $17, originally $59. Thought about buying some capris (I think I'm too short) and a v-neck blue sundress but ultimately I put all the clothes back and bought a iced grande white mocha no whip at Starbucks instead.

Drove Shaun's Camaro to all of the above. I love driving the Camaro! Although why does spellcheck not recognize the word Camaro?

The plan for the rest of the evening is to be super lazy, goof around on the internet, clean up some writings and websites, maybe take a bubble bath, and did I mention being super lazy? Yep, that's the plan.