I'm trying to find my center again. This last week has been... I don't even have the words for it.
The viewing and the funeral were tough. I did a lot of crying. I gave the eulogy at Mass because it felt like something I needed to do. I miss my dad.
I'm very thankful I have my new job. I worked Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and it felt good to be finally doing what I've spent the last 4 years working towards.
I drove down to my hometown Friday after work and spent the night with my mom. She's doing amazing. It'll be a process for her but seeing her in person doing pretty well with everything helped me feel that she can do it. I'm not a worrier but I was worried A LOT about her this last week.
Yesterday was a bit of an anomaly as I went to Churchill Downs with some of my extended family and ate lunch in Millionaire's Row and bet on some horses. My aunt buys tickets to this event every year and she asked me many months ago if I could attend. (KY Colonels) It was fun and amazing and a nice break away from everything. I even won $3.50 on my first horse race bet ever.
Today... Today I feel like I just got spit out of the spin cycle. I've been up since 7am and kinda overwhelmed by getting everything back in order again. The plants need watering, the half & half for my coffee went bad, the laundry has piled up, I have a stack of new job paperwork that needs sorted, and I've gained like 4lbs since I last stepped on the scale (and since I was already 5lbs heavier the last time I checked, I'm so not happy about this, my clothes are starting not to fit at all). Oh and I think that NaNoWriMo is a bust again this year. I'm trying to take everything slow and easy to not overwhelm myself but I also know I need to get my butt in gear and tackle everything sooner than later as I have a full week of work ahead of me and the kids are back at my house tomorrow night.
Deep breaths. Take it slow. It took time to get to this place, it'll take time to get back to my normal. I can do this.