Monday, October 07, 2013

The New Crazy Normal

Or is it the New Normal Crazy?

Whenever I get a free moment, I like to ponder how my Normal is never really what I expected to be my Normal.  We all grow up with an assumption of how our lives will go.  The majority of society has a Normal something like this: grow up with two working married parents, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, send the kids off to live their own lives, retire.  There's some slight variations in there, maybe a stay at home parent, move a few times, change jobs but for the most part, that's Normal.*

Since leaving my parent's home at 17, I reached a bit of Normal (married, kids, home) for some years in my twenties but the rest of it has been upside down and backwards.  And seems to be staying that way.

Nowadays I tend to think of my life as Crazy, not Normal and act accordingly.  On top of being divorced, a new college graduate, oddly employed in random part time jobs, and renting a townhouse, I also have a bi-polar home life of being a single parent of 5 kids one week to being (mostly) foot loose and fancy free the next.

It's a bit crazy at times.

I'm attempting to find one full time RN job but I've sort of accepted that I may be working a string of random part time jobs for awhile.  I don't have a goal to marry ever again but I figure I will jump back into the dating pool eventually.  I probably won't buy another home, renting is nice for a lot of reasons.  There's likely more college in my future in the form of a masters or doctorate degree if I take the nurse practitioner route.  And definitely no more children!

It sometimes seems to me that I veered off the Normal well trodden path of life.  It's like everyone else is on the wide straight interstate of Normal and somehow I'm hiking along a curvy cow path up on the hillside.  I can see everyone else traveling along at the speed limit, passing life's milestones, moving on in an orderly fashion.  Meanwhile I'm going up and down hills, around curves, stepping over fallen trees, and splashing across streams.

It's a bit crazy at times.

I'm definitely not saying the interstate or the cow path is the better way to get through life.  It's just different, like apples and oranges.  But I really did expect to stay on the interstate throughout my life so I often wake up surprised to be on this wacky cow path.  Am I going to make it back to the interstate ever?  Do I even want to?  I don't know.

Crazy is now my Normal and it's okay.  That's enough to have figured out for now.

* One could argue that divorce is often a Normal nowadays but it's such a huge disruption in everything.  And it's not like it's on anyone's goal list like 'buying a house' so I think it falls under Crazy.

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