Sunday, August 25, 2013

Moving on

Back to our regularly scheduled program.

Still no RN job.

Still sewing at the sewing gig.

Still mostly broke.

Hmm, nothing has really changed other than I recently got my heart broken.


Where's the TV remote, I want to change the channel.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Some Quotes

Subtitled: I probably think too much

It amuses me that you can always find a quote that fits your current attitude. And then find one that means the complete opposite of it. Like ‘Love means never giving up’ and then there’s the opposite, something like ‘Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go.’

Okay so I have to pick between love and being strong? I can’t do both?

Recently I’ve felt myself turned upside down and inside out and I don’t know which way I’m heading anymore. There are three things that I know for sure right now:

I love him. I’m hurt. I have no fucking idea where to go from here.

So being the literary nerd that I am, I went searching for some answers. These quotes speak to me. And aren’t too conflicting with each other.
  • Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (Course no one ever said I was sane in the first place.)

  • Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling into at night, I miss you like hell. –Edna St. Vincent Millary (I identify VERY strongly with this one right now. During the day, I’m mostly okay. But then I dream about him and us all night long. Thanks, stupid subconscious…)

  • Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess. Because just like in a game of chess, the Queen protects the King.

  • Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions. (I know this is true about me occasionally. I’m working on it.)

  • I swear to you, there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell. –Walt Whitman

  • As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen. -Winnie the Pooh

  • Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. –Bob Marley

  • Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering. –Paulo Coelho

  • Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it. –Swedish Proverb

  • Everyone says that love hurts, but that’s not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality, LOVE is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.

I want to feel wonderful again.

Friday, August 16, 2013

While the kids are away, the mom... cooks?

Occasionally I miss my 'stay at home mom' days. I didn't have work or the kids today and the cupboards (and fridge and freezer) have been kinda bare for awhile. My favorite grocery store was having a sale on a lot of basics so I figured, what the hell, I'll put together a big ass grocery list and do some freezer meal cooking. (I like this book as a good jumping off point for newbies: The Freezer Cooking Manual from 30 Day Gourmet, A Month of Meals Made Easy)

I made it through the 10lbs of ground beef: 4 individually cooked one pound portions for chili, tacos, baked ziti, and taco soup and 2 meals of sloppy joes and 2 meals of meatloaf.

I'm halfway done with the chicken. I trimmed up and froze half the package and then cooked the other half for making 2 chicken pot pies and 2 meals of chicken tetrazzini. I'll probably put those together on Sunday.

Tomorrow I plan to cut up the pork loins to make several pork chops to freeze for later and then put the rest in the crockpot for pulled pork.

The store had a bunch of frozen veggies 10 for $10 so we should be good on side items for awhile too.

Oh and I put together a pasta salad for a cook-out that I'm invited to tomorrow night.

So of course for dinner, I ate 3 chocolate chip cookies and called it good.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

August 11th

I haven't been much in a writing mood. I've been in a 'wait and see' mode for the last few weeks. It's not been very pleasant actually.

The sewing gig is going well. It doesn't pay enough and I can't get more than 18 hours a week (I've tried and next week I'm actually only scheduled for 12). I suppose it's better than nothing. I had an interview for the MOST PERFECT RN JOB EVER* about 2 weeks ago and then I haven't received a phone call back. I did call and leave a message about a week after saying that I'd love to have the position and please call back and let me know the status. Nothing. I have another upcoming interview for an assisted living/long term care facility (the new fancy word for 'nursing home'). I don't know much about that job other than where it's located and it's a RN position. I also applied to about 10 other new job listings on Thursday and Friday.

The kids start back to school in a few days. We're buying school supplies today. And doing laundry. And waiting.

* Local (less than 2 miles away), 8am-5pm Monday-Friday, new doctor's office opening in September with a very laid back, patient centered 'peace, love, and medicine' approach. So perfect...